i’m revolting.

hey, before you get the wrong idea, i mean the other revolting. not the one where i’m forever scarred with hamburger-textured skin and vaseline hair. not that that doesn’t describe me on some days, but i was thinking of the other revolting.

i want to start a sleep-in revolution. who’s with me?

why a revolution? because. i’m tired and the weather sucks and frankly the whole daylight savings time thing is beginning to look like a conspiracy put together by the government and the electric company.

hear me out.

what happens in the winter months? daylight “savings.” as if one can store up the sun or save time, tucked under the bed like some retirement stash. it’s the biggest scam ever concocted to further drain people of their hard earned money. if the government claims that we have to “fall back” in the fall, what happens? we set our clocks back, and low and behold, what happens? we wake up before the sun comes out. we are a nation in the dark, thus making everyone a slave to every lightbulb and lamp within arm’s reach. it’s dark; you turn on a light. you go to your closet, and if it’s like mine, it has a LIGHT. you turn it on. you go to the bathroom; you turn on a light. you go to your kitchen to grab some grub; you turn on a light. you go anywhere else in your home and you turn on a light, because it’s DARK outside. thrown into a non-daylight situation, you are forced to become a will-less electricity sucking automaton.

all across america, millions of people are spending billions of dollars every morning. and that’s just before work. i’m not even going to get into the decadence of after work hours and home lighting. that’s not the welcoming glow of living room comfort beckoning. it’s the greedy hand of the man in your own home.

it’s all just a ploy. a plot to drain not just dollars from the american people, but also to create an even greater dependency on big businesses such as electric cooperatives. did you know that when california was going through their electricity blackouts, the electric cooperatives took power out of the state when they saw the supply needs rise, and then sold it back to the state at double the higher rate? so not only are we helping to support anti-american, monopolistic policies, we are further allowing ourselves to condone big business practices such as these by staying silent.

down with the man, say i. tomorrow morning take a stand and lie back down. unplug your night light. unscrew your lightbulbs. turn off your alarm clock. start a revolution and sleep in.

fight the power. both kinds.

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