by midweek, i’m sure all of us are ready for a laugh at someone else’s expense. so please, allow me to share with you the time honored tradition of the “embarrassing moment”. this is a weekly feature at the summer camp i work at in which some unsuspecting counselor gets pounced on to share their hidden shame for the delight of others.

the scene: the gym.

the victim: me.

the crime: pure stupidity.

the story: don’t get me wrong. i love my birthday gift. the ipod is an amazing feat of technological wonderment; unfortunately, it just isn’t excercise friendly. and there’s nothing i like more than miming along to susan tedeschi’s soulful voice, even when i’m panting like a three a.m. obscene phone call. unfortunately, being manacled to an mp3 player while on a treadmill isn’t always the most ideal situation.

there i was, humming along quite nicely, secretly trying to keep pace with this blonde sorority goddess next to me, when i had a bright idea. i’ll attach the ipod to the back of my shorts so the cord won’t keep hitting me in the arm while i jog. it sounded so simple. i keep running, deftly clipping the ipod in place and still keeping up with barbie.

unfortunately, i discovered that my short’s elastic waistband wasn’t the rock-solid attachment i had hoped for. physics kicked in and my ipod went flying to the floor behind me.

so what did i do? i stopped. i stopped running and stood there. unfortunately for me, the treadmill was still chugging along at five miles per hour. i had a zen moment as time stood still and a cloudy idea began forming in my head. i was moving in reverse. why was i going bac—-whooooooa!?

i yelled out. then i fell. i fell off the treadmill like the biggest dumbass i was.

so of course i pretended that nothing happened. i picked up my ipod, avoided any eye contact, and nonchalantly hopped back on to my treadmill. i can only imagine the smug look on barbie’s face.

the result: i’ve stopped bringing my ipod to the gym.

and someday, if you get me liquored up enough, i’ll tell you my giving blood story…