Time to Don Your Girdle of Strength
having a baby is fabulous and wonderous in all respects, save one. the toll it takes on your body. once the baby is out, it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that you’ll be back into your size six (or whatever) clothes you were before in no time. two weeks after ella was born and i was still having to wear my maternity jeans. albeit, they were quite loose and i had to keep pulling them up, i was in that purgatory of fashion. a little too skinny for maternity, but a little too fat for normal clothes.
in vain i tried on my regular jeans. talk about depressing. on top of the fact that i was totally post-partum, dangerously sleep-deprived, i was delusional thinking i was going to fit into anything pre-pregnancy (hence the post-partum). but that didn’t stop me. i’d slowly pull on each leg, silently praying that today was the day. the further i pulled, the more obvious the answer became. today wasn’t the day. nor anytime that week.
rather than cry my way back into my clothes, which i had already tried and failed miserably at, i began walking. poor fargo now has two walks every day. he takes his first walk with the walking nazi. no time for dallying amongst the daffodils. we’re walking. you want to stop and smell where twenty other dogs have peed? too bad, we’re walking. we hike around tower grove or forest park for an hour each morning. me, power-walking my way back into my closet of clothes; fargo, trying not to get choked by the leash when he dawdles too long; ella, resting comfortably in her sleep chariot.
so far it’s working. i can fit back into almost all of my clothes. to fit back into my clothes i have to do one thing: lose my new belly. nothing like a bit of loose abdomen rolling around to get you exercising. since sucking it ALL in is unrealistic, today i started phase two of the process: the excercise video. me and denise austin were having some pilates good times, yee haw. she’s a bit creepy and smiles way too much with her flashy bonded teeth, but it did feel good to work out. she kept telling me i looked great and couldn’t i just feel my muscles getting stronger? rather than succumb to her cheery banter, i wanted to tell her to shut up, but ella was watching so i had to play nice.
so denise and i will be wielding our girdle of strength (our awesome abs) to hopefully transform me from flabulous to fit. and hopefully the rest of my previous wardrobe will cooperate and slide on with ease.
if not, i can cut them into little pieces and use them to make voodoo dolls of denise. and then i can go to sears and buy a REAL girdle of strength…sigh.