except for today’s balmy temps, it’s been a typical missouri winter.  cold, windy, grey.  the good part of all this is my winter break.  ahhhh, two weeks of as little academic work as possible, and no grading. the good life.

all of this commenced on monday.  ella and slept in until eight; a full two hours past my normal wake up time.  it was delightful.

and then i went downstairs.  it was fifty five degrees in my house and seventeen degrees outside.  now, just to put things into perspective, tony and i usually keep the house at around sixty seven, sixty eight.  this keeps the first floor bearable and the other two floors just right.  any warmer and our bedroom starts to feel like an oven.  this aside, that morning, even our bedroom felt cold.

i made breakfast, dressed ella in the warmest outfit she had, and put a sweater on.  then we were off to the store to buy plastic for our windows.  i use the term window loosely here; our windows are more like glass-paned screens.  they give the illusion of protection from the elements, but that’s about it.  i go to home depot first but everyone else in my neighborhood must have the same issue, because they’re sold out.  off to lowe’s then to score some plastic sheeting.  as luck would have it, the people of carondolet must have nice windows because there was plenty of sheeting for the taking.

back at the homestead, the heater had been running pretty much the entire time and it had worked its way up to fifty seven.  it was almost warm enough to take off my shoes.  almost.  i went downstairs to get a ladder to put up my plastic, and low and behold, what do i find?

a wind tunnel.  yes, a wind tunnel in my basement.  the mock basement window (that i loathe and will continue to browbeat my husband until he replaces it with a real window) with the dryer vent hook up is no longer hooked up.  this has turned the hook up into a rather impressive cannon of frigid air.

gee, i wonder why my house is so cold?  could it be because of the artic sciroco blasting into the basement????

so i hooked the dryer vent back up, prop it up with a towel (because surely that’s going to help things in the long run), get my ladder, and proceed to ensconce my windows in plastic.

by the afternoon, you’ll be glad to know, the temperature had finally reached  a toasty sixty six and the furnace stopped for a breather.  when ella went down for her nap, i took a few minutes to admire my handy work and watched the plastic bow with the eddying breeze that now only blew on the outside of my home.

like most people, i tend to think of myself as an intelligent, rational being.  i’ve been in the trenches, so to speak, in teaching for nine years and being a mother for two, so i feel like i can handle just about anything.  it’s when these feelings arise that life reminds me otherwise.

last week ella and i went for a walk with the dog.  as part of my new anti-stroller campaign, it was just the three of us:  ella, me, and fargo.  we had a leisurely stroll to the mailbox in store so no need to drag all our worldly possessions with us.  so we were off, down to the corner and three blocks over, our bright blue goal was in sight.

no longer tethered to her stroller, ella delighted in stopping at every sight:  a crack in the concrete, a flower on a bush, the alley way we crossed, and some backyard stairs that led to the sidewalk.  it was here she stopped to investigate the backyard steps and to stare and a woman getting into her car.  she put on her best, “i’m cute” smile and said “hi.”  getting the wave hi she was looking for, it was back to the steps.

i was busy calling fargo back from wandering when i saw ella coming down the steps and tripping on the last one, fall flat on her face on the sidewalk.  it was one of those slow motion moments where you know what’s going to happen but are helpless to stop it.

there were tears almost as much as there was blood.  lots and lots of blood.  and what looked like a perforated lower lip.  ewww.

and mostly i just stood there.  motionless.  clueless.

my internal dialogue was something like this:  “ummm, that sure is a lot of blood coming out of her mouth.  oh no, her new shirt tony bought her has blood all over it.  oh look, she’s still crying and is now looking at the blood on her hands.  hmmmmm.  what should i do now?”

that took about two minutes to process what was happening, why with all the blood and crying and whatnot.  of course i didn’t have my stroller with me, so i was without wipes or napkins or anything for that matter.  and i know this sounds horrible, but i didn’t want blood all over my favorite shirt.  i know, i know, boo hiss right back at ya.

so after what seemed like forever, but hopefully wasn’t, i picked her up (sideways to avoid the blood fountain as much as possible) then went running awkwardly back home a block away.  by that time ella had stopped crying and we managed to get inside the house with minimal cussing and yanking on the door.

when your kid’s bleeding, do you take them to the doctor or the e.r.?  i didn’t know either.  i tried calling the doctor’s office but got the phone maze; not really helpful at a time like that, so i hung up.  poor ella was sitting on top of a box of diaper’s with a kitchen towel on her mouth waiting for me to make it better, so i loaded her in the car and we were off.

should i go to the doctor’s office?  i tried calling, this time on my cell, and got an operator.  “who’s your doctor,” she asks.

“ahhhhh.  ummmmm.  this one guy.  his name begins with an ’s’?  shitttttttttttttt.  i don’t know.”  my brain had effectively shut down all thought, so my memory was a little shaky.
then it dawns on me, i’m calling my doctor’s office, not ella’s.  not very helpful at the moment, unfortunately.  so i call tony, spit out the news and bark at him to call the doctor and call me back, i’m on my way to the hospital.

by the time he calls back and okay’s the e.r., i’m already there cursing the clergy parking that’s available really close to the entrance and the other available spots not nearly as desirable.  oh well.

fortunately, ella’s stopped bleeding by this time and we’re in the waiting room where i’m wiping down my bloody child’s face and neck and my arm and leg (yes, i did get some on my beloved shirt).  we were seen immediately and 15 minutes and $150 of co-pay later we’re heading home with doctor’s orders to relieve the swelling with popsicles.

POPSICLES.

$150 for a prescription for popsicles.  and then i begin to understand why my parents never took me to the doctor.

but she’s okay, i’m okay, we’re all okay.  her lip is healed and i now have her doctor’s number in my cell phone and feel much more prepared for a minor medical emergency that may arise.

maybe.